Can I do this? (I can do this!) (I hope!) and other first-timer jitters
13 days until the Chicago Marathon
First-timer nerves are setting in big time
I’m not going to sugarcoat it: I’m getting nervous.
With less than two weeks until race day, I’m (finally) coming out of my COVID-19 retirement. It was harder than I thought it would be to recover from those symptoms, and I have not been running much at all in the last two weeks.
My last real long run was on Sept. 7, when I ran 18 miles. I ran a few times the week that followed, including 8.5 miles the following weekend. Then COVID-19 hit me, and since then I’ve only gone a couple of miles a couple of times. And it’s felt hard. It’s taking more effort, my breathing is labored and most alarming is my mindset has shifted from “I can do this!” to “can I do this?”
I missed the 20-miler last weekend, and this past weekend I was supposed to go 10 miles and only went 5. This is the lowest my confidence has been during my training, and race day is less than two weeks away!
I can only hope these are normal first-time marathoner jitters.
Runner’s log
I ran three times last week as I worked my way out of COVID-19:
2.5 miles on Monday.
2 miles on Tuesday.
5 miles on Sunday.
I also did some walking to try and build back some endurance. COVID-19 really took me out and it’s taking time to get my breathing back to normal during workouts. I’m also trying to balance my frustration and desire to just get out there with the knowledge that the worst thing I can do right now is overwork my body. If I go too hard as I’m recovering from this respiratory disease, I could end up hurting myself and not make it to the Chicago start line at all.
Gratitude is the best medicine
I’d like to end this worry-riddled letter with a note of gratitude. If there’s anything I’ve learned during this process, it’s that a positive attitude really is the most powerful antidote to worry and stress.
I am grateful for slow, rainy mornings with Oliver. We made scones over the weekend and read side by side on the couch.
I am grateful for my new car! And grateful to have a car at all, following the wreck. This was my first real car-buying experience (by myself) and let’s just say… I am grateful that’s over!
I am grateful that I have the opportunity to move my body every day, whether that means running, walking, taking a yoga class, walking Rory around the block, stretching on my living room floor or simply moving from the couch to the kitchen for a snack. My body does amazing things, and also deserves rest. (Yours does, too!)
I am grateful for FaceTime calls with my best friend.
I am grateful for the first Bengals win of the season — Who Dey!
I am grateful for pasta, always.
And I am grateful for you — all of you. The notes of encouragement, “good jobs” and “I’m proud of yous” have meant so much to me. Especially in this last stretch leading up to race day, I am feeling so loved and uplifted by your kind words. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
xoxo,
mad mitch