What's really worth pursuing? Good answer: Ocean views

83 days until the Flying Pig Half Marathon

Combatting the ‘anxious accelerator’ of ambition in sunny San Diego

I took a writing break last week while Oliver and I spent some time in San Diego. He was there for a work conference, and I tagged along to soak up some sun.

I spent my time reading, running, lounging by the pool and in the hot tub, trying out new yoga studios, exploring shops and cafes in different neighborhoods and catching up with some of my west coast family. I have the tan lines and laugh lines to show for it!

People who know me well know that it’s not easy for me to totally relax or “let go.” Even on a weeklong vacation, you’ll find me spying on my email inbox and responding to messages from my sources for work. I’m getting better about this, but still have a long way to go. Something in Douglas Abrams’ The Book of Joy, a conversation on lasting happiness between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, made me think deeply throughout last week on the pitfalls of ambition, in work and in life in general.

Too much ambition and too high expectations often lead to stress and anxiety, the Dalai Lama explains in the book. Abrams muses on this with questions I share: “What is too much ambition?… Could it be that all of the getting and grasping that we see as our major ambition in modern life might be misguided? And perhaps the belief that more is better might be a recipe for stress and frustration, and ultimately dissatisfaction?

“Perhaps it is a question of priorities. What is it that is really worth pursuing? What is it we truly need? According to the Archbishop and the Dalai Lama, when we see how little we really need — love and connection — then all the getting and grasping that we thought was so essential to our well-being takes its rightful place and no longer becomes the focus or the obsession of our lives. We must try to be conscious about how we live and not get swept away by the modern trance, the relentless march, the anxious accelerator. The Dalai Lama was urging us to be more realistic so we can come to some sense of inner peace now, rather than always chasing after our expectations and ambition for the next.”

The message is clear: To find joy in our lives, we don’t need to look to the future. We must look at what we have right now and be grateful. The Dalai Lama asks us to slow down, stop striving and prioritize being present with others in order to find peace.

Chronic stress, Abrams writes, manifests as “feelings of fragmentation and of chasing after time — of not being able to be present.” I struggle with this daily, and I think most of us do. This is why yoga and running have become so important to me, because during these activities I feel like I can be fully present. Being present, practicing gratitude and finding space for true joy: that’s what we’re all after, right?

“What we are looking for,” Abrams writes, “is a settled, joyful state of being, and we need to give this state space.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Runner’s log

Being somewhere warm for a week reignited my love for running. I ran 5 miles on Tuesday and put in 10 miles on Thursday in a walk/run journey to find the ocean.

I ended up in the Sunset Cliffs neighborhood and ran along the coast for more than a mile before turning back. Pure bliss.

‘You are loved’ says a sidewalk along the bay (it’s true)

Here are some other photos from my week as a California girl. I know it’s chilly here in Ohio, but let’s all do our best to let some sun in this week and be kind to each other.

xoxo,

mad mitch